Since 9.5 percent of the U.S. population suffers from depressive disorder’s it’s no wonder why Emo is the fastest growing trend in America. With the depression rate continuing to climb it’s time to learn how to fit in with today’s Emo trend. Below are 8 steps on how to become Emo.
1.) The Music
Go to iTunes or your local record shop and pick up all albums from the greatest Emo band of all time, My Chemical Romance. Make sure you tell everyone you’ve been a fan since before they were on MTV.
2.) Relationship With Your Father
Blame your father for everything that’s wrong in your life! Continue to look away every time you see him or yell blasphemies at him.
3.) The Movies
Visit your local movie store and rent Donnie Darko and Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas.
4.) The Look
Go to a local beauty supply shop and pick up the following; One Bottle of black nail polish, One bottle of eye liner, Two bottles of black hair dye, and as many safety pins as you can afford. Once your hair is dyed, grab some hedge clippers out of your fathers tool shed and cut the F**k out of your hair.
5.) Be spoiled by the parents you hate so much!
Tell your parents the first step in repairing your relationship is for them to give you $200 dollars. Immediately take that money and hit the nearest Hot Topic. Purchase the following; One black and white long sleeved nylon undershirt, One pair of super tight black jeans with NO less than 8 zippers, One My Chemical Romance Band T-shirt, and One package of black bracelets (count 100) and make sure to wear all at the same time everyday.
6.) Your Face!
Get your ears, lip, and eyebrow pierced. Make sure you have NO less than an 8 gage in your ears!
7.) Every Morning!
When you wake up, immediately look in the mirror and find some physical feature you hate about yourself. Start the shower and sit in the corner of your bathroom and cry for five minutes. Trust me, this will set the mood for the rest of the day.
8.) The Bedroom
Express your inner darkness by painting your room black and covering ALL windows with black sheets. This womb of darkness is the only safe haven you will have, make it cozy…lots of black pillows.
If you follow these simple rules you will finally feel like yourself. Let your inner self out!
crying daddy doesnt love me emo hate your self I hate my life mad sad
June 24th, 2007 at 1:38 am
I believe that the room you posted is not accurately portrayed to what you said on the blog, upload a new pick and do it right
June 24th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
cool i will try this ja!
June 24th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Yeah, what Phi said damn it.
June 26th, 2007 at 11:04 am
i like those films
am no emo . think you guide is lol
June 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
i think you have too much time on your hands
and you must be emo yourself?
June 28th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Love this! Its hilarious….even coming from a My Chemical Romance freak who likes black things and who’s second favorite movie of all time was The Nightmare Before Christmas! I must admit though, my walls are just about the farthest color from black and my curtains are white, although my bedroom walls ARE covered in mostly black My Chemical Romance posters.
July 1st, 2007 at 11:00 pm
AHH!
i love my chemical romance.
AND I LOVE THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!
but mcr isnt the ONLY emo band.
and you forgot to tell people to carry a messenger bag and write emo poetry while slitting thier wrist
July 3rd, 2007 at 5:22 am
umm… Im not emo… but have or am doing all of the above… except I dont like my chemical romance now that it is too well known… v.v lol… they arent as good as they used to be
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:53 am
dude’s thanx for the advice i’ll remember it wen i’m dead in 2 yrs, the gage is a bit much 4 me but huge earings are my thing.
July 4th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Hi all!
Looks good! Very useful, good stuff. Good resources here. Thanks much!
Bye
July 6th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
this is crap…you can only be emo if it’s right for you..you can’t be emo if you want to be…
July 8th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
haha, this webbie was quite amusing! lol, i do not concider myself emo, ive onoly the regular ear piercings, my hair is shoulder length (dyed black though) i do love hot topic, though most of there stuff has gone prep-punk (like avrils new look) and to mcr freak, fuck off, you aint gotta slit yo rists to be emo, slitting your rists is stupid, deal with your problems like the rest of us!! lol
but that is all, love the site, very cool!!
July 10th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
UR guna create alot of posers this way lol…btw…nice choice with the mcr
July 11th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Ha this is hilarious.
now everything makes sense.
i guess to be emo all u gotta do is imerse yourself in darkness, blame your parents for eveything & listen to alot of MCR….. XD
July 12th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
omg.
that’s the best ever!
haha!! well next time somebody says im emo im so showing them this!
July 13th, 2007 at 7:18 am
this syte is so awsome sorry bout my spelling i love gerard way i have actually seen him in person and he gave me his number because something bad happened as in i got really hurt ow ow ow ow anyway look at this l8r
x x
July 13th, 2007 at 7:19 am
dnt know why i put a sad face i pressed wrong thing oh well hu cares my whole life is shit ???
July 13th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
omfg…
MCR is NOT emo! Brand New, Jimmy eat world and so on is emo. And emos doesn’t always cry and cut themselves.
This is the worst f*cking page i’ve ever found. Pretty much EVERYTHING is just crap.
do some research next time…
July 15th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
this is just absolutely hilarious!
July 16th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Don’t forget every hates you and is better than you. Become veggie and brag about it then get multiple personality disorder and brag about that. You may now say you’re EMO
July 19th, 2007 at 1:41 am
The only thing you know about being emo is how to pose as emo… the truth behind emo begins with a sudden depression that changes your life forever…
July 25th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
yo dude’s. wtf emo isnt just bout self harm an darkness, most emos wear bright colors, yeah i do like black an donnie darko is a bril film but dont chat crap untell you no what your talking about, but great tip for the hair think il try that , lol
July 28th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Abby- shut the fukk up, it’s a jke that works. stopp being so much like that annoying hoe from that youtube posting, i have nuffin genst u, but ur makin it happen.
well n e way…thats a greaty emo guide. i’m not so sure about the peircings, if i do that i’ll deffinitely get kikked out ovv home. i was emo last year but now i’m retro. i get told that i dress emo half the tym. and the uvva half is just retro.
i h8 the fact that half the emos in the world are just attention seekers .
well being from australia, theirs not much emos…
my numba if u want tuh text boutt emos, in n e way…
- 0400115929
August 4th, 2007 at 3:23 am
scratch that…
0400001342
December 27th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
this is fucking sick how could u post a guide to be a poser for dumb ass preps who follow trends if you were not emo before the”movement” u will probably never kno how it truly feels be your fucking self
December 28th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
true true
December 28th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
i don’t mean true true as is lasoul3 is true i mean the 8 emo steps
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 pm
MCR RULES
i half agree on the first step.
mcr arent emo, but they are the greatest band of all time YEH @!
January 12th, 2008 at 12:27 am
this is fricken hilarious, yo!
lol
also coming from a my chemical romance freak!!!!!
lol
January 12th, 2008 at 12:30 am
emo isnt all retarded like you say here, and this just isnt right..its stupid and why would you right something like this, anyone who likes to call themeselves emo probably isnt doing anything to you, so wtf?
lay off, sserously
ha, at first i thought this was a joke, and it was funny, but then it wasn’t funny anymore..
and for the record, my chemical romance is NOT emo!
January 29th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
ok buddy
January 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am
i done this for a week and i am an emo now and i love being one! oh yeah one more thing you dont have to dye your hair or cut it!!!! but i agree with everything eles aprt from the pircings
April 6th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
LOL why is the photo of my stretched lobes linked here? Wtf is an emo? Why are you calling yourselves Emos?
Shit I’ve had my lobes stretched since most of you were still wearing diapers.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
fuk mcr!!! they r so not emo!!!! fuk them!!!!
May 9th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Being Emo Doesn’t Mean To
Wear Black All The Time And Be Scary.
Don’t do What THe Gay Website Tell’s
You!!!
THIS ISN’T EMO!!!!
May 10th, 2008 at 6:31 am
YO IM EMO AND IM ONLII 12 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE SLIT MY LEG AND WRIST AND FORHEAD.
IM SOO DEPRESSED I JUST WANNA KIL MY SO CALLED M8S.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:10 am
lol some of this is kinda overebored you dont even have to like black to be emo all you have to be is depressed. so just think that blond girl with the pink mini skirt just might be emo n that girl with the black hair who loves black, has no friends, bad relationship with her parents and likes to write poetry might not be emo
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
emos are just misunderstood goths, so i am one!!
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
wooooooooo i meen alll u saddos hoo take the piss out of EMOS and those hu slit thats ur opinion soo just go on ur own chavvy websites. I dont think all that is neccacerry though cos im not depressed cos of my mum and dad im depressed cos my girlfriend dumped me and cos my bezzie mates arnt my mates no more
i slit the back of my arms but not my wrists cos i just cant still gud website butt a bit ott i think ohhh and mcr arnt the only EMO band theres paramore and many more oh and hayley is wel fitt but no ewere near as fitt as frankie and lorna
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:01 am
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 am
whers my fuckin comment it wont go on
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:03 am
wtf were r all my F*CK*NG COMMENTS THAY WONT POST GAT A BETTER POSTIN SYSTEM
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 am
WTF UMBRAANDY IT SEZ THERE IS NO NEAD 2 REPOST COMMENTS CCOS THERE COS THERE MAY B A DELAY
DICK
AND IM A CHAV SOOOOOOOOOO SHUT UR BIG FAT SLITTTED AND BLEEDIN GOB
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:07 am
OII THIS IS ANDYS X SOOOO SHUT UR MUSH DICK EAD OH AND ANDY I WANNA GO BK OUT WIV YA POST A COMMENT IF YALL GO BK OUT WIV EM PLZ
OR SPEEK 2 ME ON MSN:0
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:57 am
Mcr freak. Your comment was stereotypical. A true emo does not need to cut themselves. A stereotypical emo thinks that cutting themselves allows them to feel, when in fact a true emo can already feel, we just show our emotions in different ways. Stereotypes….hate ‘em.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
this site is dumb.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I agree with that PHI person. the room you put up doesn’t match the description. FIX THAT PRONTO!
August 14th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
ohkae, aLot of that was goth, not emo
September 17th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Wow…. this has to be the funniest thing i’ve ever read!
dude i bet 6/10 of you are gonna follow these steps! (well unless you have a brain and know this is for POSERS!)
this is should be called,”The Poser’s Guide to being Emo”
haha some of you can’t be serious…THIS WAS A JOKE! dude its not like your really gonna use this…are you?
October 17th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Rofl
this is frikkin funny :3
Not to be mean to anyone who actually followed these…
Sorry to the people who followed this guide,but I’m pretty sure this was meant as a joke;don’t follow these steps UNLESS you wanna look like a BIG TIME poser.
I mean yeah,some of these steps are stereotypically tied to being emo but really,this is noob-ish
Oh yeah,this guide will instantly turn you emo…*Nota bene sarcasism* =P
October 17th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
oH MY…I think I just ruined the joke here…
great
October 27th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Fuck off Umbraandy are you british Anastasia is british but Mistie is American. We love this guide it is so Funny:0